Today's wrap-up is going to be slim and a twofer, since Turkey Day forced me to skip last week's, and I have to skedaddle out of town for a day.

On to the subject at hand: Way back then on the "Runway," there was a hubbub about a celebrity guest. Sweet P, dear Sweet P guessed Madonna. Somebody else mused that it might be Britney, which sent the dear P into a fit. I had my fingers crossed that it was Cher so that everyone would be screwed except for Chris March, who would rise to the challenge like the gigantic drama queen that he is. He'd have come up with some sort of rhinestoned miter and bustier. It would have been stunning.

But when the doors opened … oh, happy day! In walked Sarah Jessica Parker! Carrie Bradshaw or, as people who think they're on familiar terms with her like to call her, SJP.

The challenge is to create a two-piece look for her cheapo clothing line "Bitten," a label built around the theory that the hoi polloi should be able to enjoy high-end American sportswear at low low prices, as long as they don't think too hard about who might be making them.

The entire look had to retail for $40, so their budget was $15.

"I think we're going to be using toilet paper and scotch tape," Chris said.

Ricky starts crying in his confessional, beating Christian to weepy land. Later Carmen would cry too, but snot-nosed Christian held it in, bless his little ego.

On to the pitches. SJP is nice to everyone, even nutty Elisa, who proposed a polymorphic spree or something. But she can pick just seven designs.

The lucky winners were Kit, Victorya, Marion, Ricky, Christian, Rami and Elisa – whah? – and were told the winning design may be sold in Steve & Barry stores nationwide.

The winners pick the not-so-luckys one by one -- just like 5th grade gym class during dodgeball! – until only Sweet P is left in the clutches of Elisa.

You had to figure that would be challenging, but how were we to know that Elisa not only can't use a machine, but spits on her garments to mark them? Sweet P, not surprisingly, is horrified.

Why, why, why, she said, are you ppptouing all over your work?

To mark it, Elisa, says.

But … but why?

"Because I want to imbibe it? (Note: I think she meant imbue.) With my energy? And my natural essence? And that's how I do it."

Sweet P should have been thankful she didn't do that by running the fabric over her lady parts, but she knew that was not outside the realm of possibility. "Basically, I am on planet Earth, and Elisa is on some happy planet; I do not know the name."

We hoped it would be Planet OWT – but, no! Thanks to Sweet P swooping in to save the day (At one point, Uncle Tim said to Elisa, "That's cuckoo. You can't sustain this."), the pair were in the top two.

Ultimately Victorya Hong, assisted by Kevin, won the round with her A-line trapeze dress and tiny vest, which will look great on all the stick figures out there.

But poor Marion, who sent a sad rag Heidi declared dirty and dragged out of a basement down the runway, got the boot.

As we have said before, the boring ones go first, and Marion fit that descriptor perfectly.

Last night began round two of the cuts, the ones who lack versatility.

The challenge was delectably cruel, and Uncle Tim walked the kids onto the set of "Today," where Tiki Barber was waiting.

The ex-Giant and current "Today" show correspondent is quite the man of fashion, and wants a "Project Runway" special. He has a thick neck, he tells the crew, and a big butt. So … make it work. Sweet P really listened to the thick neck part, as you'll see.

Meanwhile, everyone's inner soundtrack was stuck on the same tune: "aaawwwWWWW FREAK OUT! Le freak, c'est chic. FREAK OUT!" Turns out only a couple of them knew how to do men's clothes.

At this point I must confess, I really thought Elisa was dead and done. The fact that she pulled off a reasonably clean look and made it to the next round gave me new respect for the lass. I'm not saying she'll go the distance or anything. I'm just surprised she's made it this far after pooing fabric in round one.

As for the rest, Christian wasn't lying when he said that a lot of the outfits looked jacked up.

Christian's mouth is either going to make him famous or get him into trouble, though, because halfway through their work time, in walked Tiki Barber's highly stylish wife, whom Christian noticed with relish is Asian. "Asians are fierce!" he cooed, which is not at all about stereotyping.

Anyhoo, Mrs. Barber makes the rounds and has mostly kind criticisms, until she gets to Carmen. Carmen proudly shows off her fabrics and sketches, and the Lady Barber replies that it looks like a Members Only jacket.

While this was a clear indicator that Carmen would have a place on the chopping block, that was before we saw Sweet P's costume for Gigantor the Office Worker.

Her attempt at a simple button-up shirt, tie and trousers was so far off it was comical. Fortunately, it is a graver mistake to be unfinished and ugmo than finished and ludicrous, thus our Sweet P was safe.

Better yet, our man Jack Mackenroth won with a sophisticated shirt and trousers with complementary pinstripes, including trim and a pocket with the pattern cut diagonally. Michael Kors wished he had more than two pieces, but Heidi was on Jack's side: Better to have two pieces and be perfect, she said, than have three and be a disaster.

God knows there were a lot of those.

Ricky pushed his model down the runway in a suit held together by pins, but even if it weren't it still looked like it was exhumed from the Halloween bin at the Goodwill.

Carmen, however, presented an outfit that looked like something out of porno for people with a fetish for criminal dress sense. No shirt, a jacket that could have served as an emetic and trousers with a crotch that would have given a eunuch a contagious case of camel toe.

Carmen, you are OWT.

Your turn. Did the judges go too easy on Sweet P and Ricky, or was Carmen's aufing in tune with your opinion?